When you build up something in your mind or have an ideal of perfect that you cannot reach, it tends to create stress and despair. Most of the year we are not as likely to set ourselves up for so much of a fall than at Christmastime.
We see commercials, movies, television shows, paintings and such which give us a picture of what Christmas is supposed to be. Many of these images were created around Victorian times and are difficult, if not impossible, to do today.
Not everyone comes from a perfect family that wants to gather around the table in a civil manner. Many people have their family and friends live all over the country and makes in next to impossible to gather everyone in one place. Others are poor and cannot afford the ideal Christmas. There are many reasons why people are unable to have the so-called perfect Christmas, but the problem arises in those with personalities that makes them want to try anyway.
Most people feel the stress of getting everything together. The creating of a traditional family affair can be too much for most people to pull off and without helping hands, next to impossible to do. While the majority of people who feel the usual holiday stress are able to handle it by settling for what they have and being happy with what they did, there are some who feel like they failed because the event did not come off as expected. Those are the ones most prone to holiday anxiety and depression.
Others who suffer holiday depression are the lonely people. The majority are the elderly who remember earlier times when they had the health and mobility and family and friends to enjoy the time. Many of them have had memories of great occassions with many people who are no longer around and a new generation of people surrounding them they cannot relate to. They may be surrounded by people, yet feel very alone. Others are literally alone as they don't have family or friends nearby or are confined in hospitals or nursing homes.
Some may have lost a dear loved one around that time of the year and the celebration is a painful reminder that the loved one is no longer around.
Then there is a category of people who were raised in a religion that forbade the celebration of the holiday. They may have recently left that religion and are unable to cope with the meaning of the holiday or where exactly they fit in, never seeming to relate to others or feeling like an outsider. {Trust me, it is really hard fitting in if you were raised to be an outcast.}
If you find around the holiday seasons you feel sad, hopeless, tired, having little energy, unable to concentrate, uneasy, restless or irritable, have trouble sleeping or eating (too little or too much), are not enjoying the activities that you used to, lost interest in sex or experiencing sexual difficulties, it takes you longer than before to make decisions or unable to concentrate, feel inadequate, like a failure or that nobody likes you anymore, feel guilty without a rational reason, or put yourself down, feel that things always go or will go wrong no matter how hard you try and these feelings, or thoughts of suicide, last more than 2 weeks, you are suffering from a medical condition called depression.
Even if these symptoms only seem to happen during the holiday season, you still have depression which is only aggrevated by the stress of the holiday.
Depression is a valid medical condition which can be treated. It is no more of a stigma than having diabetes or high blood pressure. If you have it, you need to seek the help of a professional. Do not be tempted to self medicate with over the counter medicines or with illegal drugs or alcohol which can make symptoms worse.
It is normal to feel some degree of stress, frustration and anxiety during the holiday season. This does not automatically mean you are going to suffer depression. It is only when the symptoms persist for more than 2 weeks with no relief that you do have a disease.
Don't be ashamed to ask for help. If you are depressed or suicidal contact your family doctor, United Way, or look in the phone book for your local crisis intervention center or if you are a young person call 1-800-448-3000 for Boys And Girls Town, teenagers can call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999 or 911.
There is help out there for you if you are willing to seek it out. You do not have to suffer during the holidays or at any other time of the year. While no one can prevent a person from doing something or force someone into treatment, it is up to you to own up to your own responsibility for your well being.
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