Being a first time parent is hard and there really are no one size fit all rules for taking care of your unique individual child. All you can hope for is a set of general guidelines, wisdom, patience and a lot of common sense.
Don't feel pressured that if you make one mistake you will ruin your child or your relationship to him/her. Sure, there are big things to avoid, but in overall care the slightest mistakes won't make much of a difference. It is all on you to show your child as much love and guidance you can give to him and her and lead by example.
Babies needs are simple, albeit around the clock. Keep them in fresh, dry diapers. Feed them. Hold them. Talk to them. Give them something to stimulate them visually and audibly, but don't take it too far. Give your baby frequent naps. And be sure to baby proof your home. Most importantly, love them!
Your baby doesn't care about your socio-economic status in the world, or that you haven't had a chance to bathe on a regular basis, or you are so exhausted and in tears. As long as you meet your baby's needs, they will feel safe and secure in your arms. After all, in a baby's mind the world revolves around them and you are there for their entertainment.
It is pretty much a ridiculous thing to spend big money on products "guaranteed" to make your child smarter when you force it upon them in infancy. Education is an ongoing process, by all means, but infancy is a time for a baby to learn how to be a baby and not a Rhodes scholar.
You don't need a lot of money to raise a child, but it is an expensive proposition over the course of a lifetime. When shopping for items for your young child, compare prices and do research before buying high priced items. Consider going to yard sales, flea market, consignment store, or looking in newspaper classified ads for bargains on baby clothes, furniture, books, and toys. Ask a family member, friend, or a neighbor with children older than yours for hand-me-downs as most are willing to give them away than let it clutter their homes.
Try to keep a schedule. This will help both you and your child in the long run. It will be hard to do in the beginning when you are trying to figure out the baby's feeding/sleeping/changing time, but once you get into a routine it will allow you the chance to get things done for yourself, the rest of your family, and your home.
Baby proofing your home is one of the most important chores you have before you bring your child home from the hospital. It is also a never ending battle. Here are some tips for baby proofing your home.
Go through your home with an empty paper towel roll. If things can slide through the roll, it is a choking hazard and either needs to be stored where a child cannot reach it or thrown out.
Vacuum, sweep, mop, and dust daily!
Buy safety covers for electrical outlets. Chances are really rare that your child will actually put a metal object past the slots and deep enough where they can get hurt, but you still don't want to take that chance. Besides, these covers are pretty cheap.
Store products that are poisonous or otherwise harmful out of reach of children. Find a high cabinet. Lock lower cabinets. Use a storage locker with a locking device too high up for children to access. Keep your prescription medicines and over the counter stuff in a medicine cabinet. Do not leave cigarettes, tobacco products, or alcohol lying about unattended.
If you are in a really old home [this mostly applies to homes built before 1978] make sure all lead based paint has been removed.
Install a smoke, fire and carbon monoxide detector in your home and do a battery replacement twice a year.
Lock away all guns! Ditto with matches and flammable materials.
All of those are very important, but use common sense when it comes to your home and your children. If it looks dangerous, put it up.
Choose your daycare or babysitter wisely. If you are a parent working full time outside the home, you have no other choice but to put your child in the care of someone else. Even if you are a stay at home parent, you will want to leave from time to time to keep your sanity. The question is how do you choose someone to take care of the kids?
If you are able to afford it, and not too many people are, hire a nanny. You can have a live-in nanny or one that comes to your home only during scheduled times. Your nanny could either be there simply as a helper for you or to take more of a hands-on care approach with your child. Decide what your needs are and the budget you plan on spending then shop around.
Contact agencies that screen nannies or place an ad in the paper or get a friend to refer you to someone. Then do your homework on the potential candidate. Run a background check and get references from their last place of employment [and ask why they left and want to work for you.] Set up at least 2-3 interviews with the potential candidate as it will give you a better idea and feel for that person before you let them take charge of the child. Go with your gut feeling. If you feel uneasy about that person or if something doesn't ring true, don't hire them.
The same goes for anyone you want to care for your child. If you feel you can't trust them, don't leave your children with them.
For full time care needs, there are the big chains of daycare centers which have decent facilities and are uniform in outlining specific care in all units. This provides for a more reliable, consistent and safe experience for your child, but it comes at a price that may be hard for many families to afford.
When your child is 2-4, you may even have an option of choosing a pre-school/daycare program where your child is not only getting care, but an early exposure to formal education for their age level. Many of the big chain daycares do have pre-school programs. If you are eligible, some areas also have Head Start programs which provide a state-sponsored education and at times an after school or daycare plan. Still this option may be out of the question for many people or for those who have short term needs.
For full time workers who cannot afford big chain daycare centers or don't qualify for Head Start, you will have to consider a babysitter. Ask family first. Or even a close friend with children around the same age as your child who may work a schedule opposite of yours for example, if you work a day shift and they work a night shift. You can offer to rotate watching their children in turn for watching yours or see what they will charge you to do the job.
If you have no luck with family or friends, put out an ad to hire a babysitter. Be sure to screen very carefully using the same standards in looking for a nanny.
When caring for your baby or infant, don't be too hard and forget about perfection. Just do your best, that's all anyone really can expect.
