Are you walking on eggshells?
Do you feel everyday you must brace yourself for his/her next possible tantrum?
Do you feel you must work harder each time to please your mate, but feel it is futile because nothing you do is good enough?
Do you find yourself putting yourself down in front of your spouse and lauding them for putting up with you as if he/she were some great god-figure?
Do you feel that you can't discuss with your partner what is bothering you?
Does he/she frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem?
Does your partner ridicule you for expressing yourself?
Does he/she belittle people who are hurt or expressing any sort of grief, anger, or sadness?
Does he/she expect you to take their grief, anger or sadness seriously though they discount your feelings when you are sad, angry or facing any crisis?
Does he/she isolate you from friends, family or groups?
Does he/she limit your access to work, money or material resources?
Has he/she ever stolen from you? Or run up debts for you to handle?
Has he/she forced you to in a position to lie and steal and run up debts just so you could pacify his/her behavior?
Does your relationship swing back and forth between a lot of emotional distance and being very close?
Have you ever felt obligated to have sex, just to avoid an argument about it?
Does he/she pressure you into sex when you are tired, half asleep or sick and makes you feel guilty when you can't follow through?
Does his/her needs always seem to be more pressing for your attention than your own needs?
Does he/she insist you stop whatever you are doing to do his/her bidding?
Does he/she make you feel like no matter what you are doing or have planned can never be as important as what he/she has in mind?
Do you sometimes feel trapped in the relationship?
Has he/she ever thrown away your belongings, destroyed objects or threatened your children or pets?
Does he/she have tantrums that involve destroying property or creating a mess?
When he/she has a tantrum, do they expect you to clean up the mess they leave behind?
Does he/she make rules and orders you to follow them, but he/she cannot be held to those same standards?
If it seems as if you are doing something that may outshine your partner in terms of employment, making money, or following your dreams, does your partner seem to sabotage, degrade, or discount your efforts and prevents you from doing what you need to do?
Are you afraid of your partner?
Does he/she threaten suicide to get his/her way?
Have you been pressured to do something to your body to please your mate [ie - plastic surgery, having an abortion or sterilization], even if it is something you were against doing?
If you can answer yes to even a few of these questions, you are in serious trouble and need help.
Divorce Yourself: The National No-Fault Divorce Kit
The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing
You Can't Say That to Me!: Stopping the Pain of Verbal Abuse-an 8-Step Program
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