Why am I so insistent that there should be a law on the books to protect victims of emotional and verbal abuse in the same way this protection is given to victims of physical abuse? Because the consequences can be fatal.
There is only so much abuse one can take. One day, either the abuser will advance to physical abuse or the victim will get fed up and take the law into their own hands.
Emotional and verbal abuse almost always escalates, sooner or later, into physical abuse. In the beginning, the abuser doesn't seem dangerous until you are sucked in. Then he/she will start with little things and test the waters with you. Either you will run off and/or put your foot down the first time and he/she will either back off or leave. If you overlook it the first time, there will be a second time. If you accept it or overlook it, you give him/her the impression that you love them no matter what and they will run with that belief of superiority in the relationship. They will continue to push the stakes higher and higher.
In the case of emotional and verbal abuse, it is more subtle, but just as terrifying as physical. Those who suffer at the hands of an emotionally or verbally abusive person can suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, depression, suicidal thoughts, cutting, and alcoholism/drug abuse. These are debilitating illnesses that are a direct result of the abuse.
Eventually the victim will do one of two things - resign themselves to this kind of life, completely losing all sense of self-esteem and purpose in life OR will get out. The longer the victim stays in this situation, the worse it will get. IT WILL NEVER GET BETTER UNLESS THE ABUSER SEES THEY NEED HELP AND GETS IT!!
The big problem the laws do not want to face is what to do with these complaints. They can see a bruise. They can see cuts. They can see gunshot wounds. They cannot see the scars within your soul and it is considered subjective.
By turning a deaf ear on these victims, the law has created an ideal situation for murder. If they really cared to do some checking on mysterious death situations, murder scenes that look like a hitman was hired, or a person who goes missing - they may want to see how many of them were married to someone who was a victim of emotional abuse.
If no one hears your plea to stop the constant berating, the in-your-face torture, the profanity, the screaming tantrums, the mess left behind on the rage and so forth as you are walking on eggshells every single day while you try to do even more to make the other person happy, but knowing it will never be good enough - one of these days you will snap. If you ask for help from the police and they tell you there is nothing they can do because there is no physical abuse, so they can legally continue this behavior. If you ask for help from a shelter which is filled with women who are physically battered and turned away because your abuse isn't quite as "serious", you are sent back. If you serve your spouse with divorce papers and are told he can legally live in your home until the divorce is final and can legally continue to berate you. What is a person to do???
Divorce Yourself: The National No-Fault Divorce Kit
The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing
You Can't Say That to Me!: Stopping the Pain of Verbal Abuse-an 8-Step Program
Click to join Emotional_Abuse
