For those trapped in a marriage for the sake of the children, ask yourself if you are really doing your children a favor by staying. What lesson are you teaching them by staying and accepting this behavior?
Look into the future. Imagine your child all grown up and married to someone who constantly called them names, was manipulating them, had them walking on eggshells, kept them nervous, forced to give up their hopes and dreams - all by their spouse. How do you think you would feel if your child "thinks" this is normal and they MUST live the rest of their lives like this because mommy and daddy did this all the time they were growing up and they don't know anything better?
Or imagine your child on the other end of the stick. He or she will have witnessed the power trip by your abusing spouse and idealizes this behavior. Whomever they marry will be tortured at the hands of YOUR child. Your child will have no remorse because you accepted living like that, so why shouldn't their spouse get used to it?
Your children are like sponges. They pick up on everything. They know what is going on, even if they can't really verbalize it or understand it. What they will pick up on is what they think constitutes a "normal" family life. They will come to accept that it is okay for one spouse to be abusive and the other to accept the abuse without question - ALL BECAUSE YOU DID NOT PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN TO END THE ABUSE.
Don't give your children the wrong idea. You may not want to hurt the children by taking away the parent they love, or to relocate them away from their friends or school, but they will thank you later. Someone has to take charge of the situation. The abuser is already out of control. If you want the abuse to end YOU have to say enough is enough. Do it for your children.
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