Stop Fear Dead In Its Tracks
Fear has a proper place in life. Unfortunately, fear is used improperly.
If you are being chased by a wild, hungry bear, fear is great! If a tornado is headed straight for you, you had better be afraid! If someone is about to physically harm you, fear is totally understandable.
Those kinds of fear are the types that keep us alive, as long as we are using a cool head during these times. That fear gives us the extra adrenaline to move quickly in a dangerous situation.
Then there is the other kind of fear which is sometimes accompanied by panic. This is a totally useless fear which will shorten your life.
People have all kinds of fear that are really irrational. Phobias are one kind of chronic fear where fear of a certain thing is overly focused upon. Far common than phobias are the fears of life.
People are afraid of things that are really petty when you look at the big picture.
Are you one of those people who cringe when you get a past due notice in the mail? They are demanding payment and threaten to sue you if you don't pay them now. You don't have the money to pay it as you barely have enough to put a roof over your head. Do you spend the rest of the day, week, month worrying about what they will do to you? Don't! Just stop it!
Think about it.
Do you really have enough money to pay the bill? Is there something you can adjust in your budget to pay the bill? Did you talk to them and ask them if they will take a nominal amount? Even if they say they won't take the nominal amount, pay it anyway to show your good faith. You cannot change them, you can only change the way you react to them.
What if they don't get their money right now? What is the worst they can do? Play out the scenario to the worst possible thing that can happen if you don't pay it all right now. Most of the time you will see that even in the worst case scene, there is always a way out. They can take your things, but they cannot steal your soul.
Are you worried about a relationship you are in dissolving? If that is your fear, it doesn't sound like you have much of a relationship. Why do you fear your relationship is fading? Is it something you did or from your partner or both? Did you talk to your partner to see if this was just in your mind? Do you want to work things out with your partner? Does your partner want to work things out. Just remember, you can never change a person who does not want to change. It takes two to make a relationship work. If one partner won't try, there is no relationship. You both must be willing or you are better off moving on.
Let go of that chain that binds you. You cannot force someone to love you. Either they do or they don't. If they don't they either hate you or just feel nothing for you. If you don't have enough love and respect for yourself to get out of a loveless relationship, how can you expect them to love and respect you. Don't fear a bad relationship ending! Embrace a new beginning!
Any kind of fear of things for which you have no control is unproductive. You are constantly going over many unknown factors of what could happen wrong, but do you ever consider what could go right? You cannot change what other people will do to you, but you can totally change the outcome in your favor by changing the way you react to the fear.
The cure for fear that is irrational is to live in the moment. Experience the joy of right here and now. Bask in the air you breath, the sights and sounds around you, the people who surround you, the activity you are doing and so forth. This moment is brief and will go away. Capture that moment before it is lost to eternity! Each moment is precious.
You will have worrisome situations and times of trouble which may have fear rise up in you. Only a calm head and reasoned thinking will keep the fear at bay. Panicked reactions only make the situation worse for you and in the others you project causing the situation.
Don't be afraid to feel! Fear is okay in the right situations, but people use fear to avoid feeling everything else that makes us human. Feel free to cry, to laugh, to get angry, or whatever the moment brings.
Don't dwell on it longer than the moment dictates and don't let others tell you how long that moment should last. It is your life and your moments. You are free to enjoy each moments, just take back that notion that makes you feel you must conform to the norms of others.
Only you can live your life. How sad it is to live your life always in comparison to others! That is the leading cause of fear - the fear of being thought different and therefore not accepted. Look behind the ego mask of those you deem to be judging you. You will see they are small, frightened people who want you to cower with them.
All feelings are natural and come from within. You are the one who is really in control of your fear, anger, love, hatred, joy and other feelings. Some feelings pop up at appropriate times given the situation, but how you use those feelings are up to you. An outrageous situation that floods your mind in anger could make you choose between an angry tantrum which causes more problems in the long run OR the catalyst to action in doing something to correct whatever made you angry. The same goes with fear and all your other emotions.
Take off the blinders of fear and only use it when it will save your life. When you release the fear, you will open the road to your true world of wealth and power. Have you ever really known a person in a position of power to be fearful? Just think about that!
©1997 Callen Damornen/Judi Clarke-Copeland
All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced without permission from the author.
