The Virtue Of Patience
How Holding Back Can Be Your Friend

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Face it, we live in a world where people want things done yesterday, especially when it comes to receiving goods, services, or attention. People generally hate to wait, but most know, at least on some level, there is no other choice but to wait until it is your turn.

A disturbing trend is the "entitlement mentality" which has become a serious problem in Western countries. The people with this mentality really believe they are above everyone else and unlike everyone else should not have to suffer waiting long lines, waiting for service, waiting for attention, or to have any inconvenience or problem bother their very busy schedules which they view as more important than anyone else around them.

Infants and toddlers are born into a point of view where they see the world revolving around themselves. In this immature phase of life, they take in only what they are able to comprehend -- mom and dad running to them to meet their needs, everyone around stopping what they are doing to adore them, having someone always trying to make them feel better about themselves, etc.

The problem is many parents, especially in the case of youngest and oldest children, tend to baby them too long. This leads to a harder time for the child to understand that others have needs, schedules, and goals that are just as every bit as important as their own and at times others cannot drop whatever they are doing to serve them.

We can all hope the child will break out of this before adulthood, but at times there are adults who cannot understand the world does not revolve around them which leads to the general rudeness in society which results in road rage, angry outbursts at the wrong people, and tantrums that resemble that of a two year old which is more dangerous with the strength of an adult.

It is not just a handful of adults with a chronic disorder which leans on the verge of rage, but even what one would consider "average" may suffer, from time to time, bouts when he or she may become quite impatient and would act in ways they normally would never have behaved if they were not as stressed.

The problem with impatience is it tends to make any given situation worse. While the ego may get a temporary satisfaction in going into a full bully mode to get their way, they may or may not see what happens in the process. Those who feel compelled to move do so with great resentment, do a half-hearted job, or simply refuse to do something for that person either right then or at another time.

Impatience clouds the mind of appropriate actions and legitimate courses to take to make the situation better.

Let's say you were cut off in traffic. It is annoying, but when you really think about it, the other driver did not do it deliberately. Perhaps they should have been paying more attention to driving than whatever was the reason for their brain fog. Maybe they were tired and had some problems bothering them. Chances are once they have done it and they see your angry reaction, they realize their mistake and they are sorry.

The problem with impatient people in this situation, even if no harm was really done other than being cut off, they insist on always being right even if it means putting their life, the life of everyone in their car, and the lives of other drivers on the road in danger just to get revenge. This sort of unequal justice that should be sorted out by an officer of the law is now in the hands of an impatient person who seeks their own form of justice and only makes a bad situation worse instead of letting it go or getting the license plate number and letting the police deal with it. This error in judgment may kill or injure someone or at the very least cause them to get a ticket or lose their license.

Or let's say you were waiting for a very important package that should have been delivered at a certain time. You have waited all day long and it is getting close to quitting time, but you still have not received the package and no call to let you know the person is running late. An impatient person will automatically feel slighted and take it personally and they may just get on the phone to scream at someone who has nothing to do with the reason why the package was late and may legitimately not have an answer to give the angry person. Poor judgment may let this person continue to call and harass the people until someone tells him or her anything, even a lie, just to get them to stop calling or they may completely avoid the call or they may just refuse to do business with that person in the future or they may call the police to file harassment charges. If the package is on the way, but not there yet, perhaps there is a good reason so do not take it personally. It would be fine to ask nicely for an explanation, but at least be aware that there may be other factors going on beyond their control. Bullying people out of impatience rarely gets things done any faster or better. It only creates more hostility.

Impatience can cause a person to rush into traffic to cross a busy street only to get hit by a car.

Impatience can cause a professional to make a serious mistake which will cost them clients in the future.

Impatience can cause a parent to lose control with a child and strike out at them because they are not moving or learning something fast enough.

So what good will patience do? If you step back from any situation causing you stress because things are not happening as quickly as you think they should, you may be able to see other solutions to your problem and you may even discover why there is a delay and can help make things better. When in a fit of impatience, you cannot get this clear picture as you are too flustered to do anything more than throw your weight around or make threats [whether real or implied] in order to boost your ego.

It is far better to be patient and find the right thing to do than to lose your cool because you did not get your way.

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