Sex, Love And The UCPFUL Way

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In most Western and Middle Eastern societies, there is an almost prudish and hypocritical view on matters of sex, relationships and passions. It is because these societies have grown up on religions and countries that favour the views of a Hebrew-based path. That society was based on a patriachical lead where women and children had their place as the property of the man and all men should very well act in a standard behaviour. There was no room for deviation on the "norm".

What's so wrong about the "norm" anyway? What exactly is the "norm"? This is part of the problem. As there are so many diverse people who have different points of view in life and have destined themselves into a certain path, there is not a single person that can be contained with anything resembling a "norm".

I'm sure you will not find many, if any, churches who will even entertain these ideas, but that shows the problem in a standard church that tries to be one-size-fits-all.

Almost every branch of Christianity and the Hebrew faith as well as all of the Islamic faiths preach of a standard "norm" in relationships. Man is head of woman and children because men are the ones who must answer to God on their behalf. A man is to cheerish, love and devote himself to his wife and children while a woman is to honor, love, respect and obey the man while serving the needs of the members of the home. A relationship is only between a man and a woman not related to each other. Sex is forbidden unless it is by two married people with the intention of creating children.

All such rules are well and good, that is if it flies right within your own nature. The problem is not everyone flies in the same nature or is part of the same faith. When a society is filled with people who will only accept such things as the norm, they look down their noses and can heap abuse, threaten or even kill those who fall outside of the norm.

The mere simple laws of UCPFUL do not recognise such things as it breaks the very natural law of your own god-connection. Remember:

1. One must show love to all, especially to self

2. One must always forgive, especially self

3. One must always show respect, especially to self

4. One must always be honest, especially to self

These are the only laws you need. Only through real love, respect and honest introspection can one determine what is right for them.

Is homosexuality a sin? It depends on the people involved. If it is a relationship not based on love, honesty or respect, the only one you are sinning against is your own nature. If the relationship is based on love, honest and respect with both partners, it is not a sin against your nature. Only you and your partner are the judge of what is right or wrong for you. Other than that, it is nobody's business. No one has the right to tell you who or how to love.

Many years ago, it used to be a taboo for couples to marry if they were of a different race. In some societies, it is taboo to marry in a different class. Most thinking people realise there is absolutely nothing to cause chaos and destruction with these people marrying. Often, the big excuse used is, "What if they have children? Won't the children be confused?" As a product of generations of interracial mixing, I can tell you for fact, we are not confused. It is society that is confused because they do not want to understand.

What about polygamy? Just like with homosexuals, it depends on the people involved. There are couples out there with "open marriages" who are quite happy with the situation. Because it is against the law, they cannot have the same legal guarantees as others in that situation where they share a home, child care and other important things. Homosexual couples have this problem as well.

If the people involved in a polygamy relationship have the mutual love, respect and honesty for themselves and others in this relationship, then where is the sin? If those who jump into this without the elements of love, respect and honesty, they will experience pain, heartache, and unhappiness which in essence is the effect of their sin. Only those involved can judge what is the case.

Surely there is something wrong with incest, right? If we are talking about sex with minor children, then yes, it is plenty wrong. A child is not of the age of consent. To present a child with a situation of an adult nature is very much disrespectful to the nature of the child. This is not love. A pedophile is not being honest with themselves as they make excuses or try to justify what they are doing to the child. Any relationship where there is no love, respect and honesty is WRONG. The same applies to sex with animals and corpses and neither category can give consent and this shows no respect.

On the other hand, let's say the members of the incest party were grown second cousins. Is this wrong? There are many societies where second and sometimes even first cousins do in fact get married and have children who come out normal. The trouble is in certain gene pools, if both people carry the exact same genes which could produce a child with a terrible condition, they risk giving birth to a child with defects. It is rare, but it is a possibility.

One may look at it as disrespectful to have such a relationship because of the chance the children will not be okay. Another may see it as one of those chances you take along with life, but they share a strong love and will overcome any obstacle. Again, this is a matter of love, respect and honesty with those involved.

What about sex before marriage? What about paying for sex? What about adultery?

Simply put, are the couples involved showing love, respect and honesty? The only ones that can define this are those involved in that particular circumstance.

Let's say the couple were two young adults still in college. They both want to finish their education, but really only just want to have sex for fun. It will show love, honesty and respect for themselves and each other if they use protection and go in with certain ground rules of what they expect, what they will and will not do, and what to do if there is an "accident".

There is no love, respect or honesty in this situation if one lies about using birth control or telling the other they will "pull out" and forget in the heat of passion. The same goes if both agreed on what to do beforehand in the event of a pregnancy or any sexual transmitted disease and when it happens will not consult the other about changing their mind over the course of action.

The same goes with paying for sex. If prostitution were legal and the stigma were taken away from it, the women and men involved would go from being degraded to being in a position where they are in control of their choices. As long as it is illegal, those involved will end up feeling disrespected and unloved, society will look down their noses at participants and the law will always be after them or look the other way when they get killed. As long as it is legal, those feelings can go away so long as they are honest within themselves as to whether it is loving and respectful of their own nature. If it were legal, it would be safer and easier to regulate those in this profession.

As for the men paying for it, they would have to determine for themselves if this is an honest, loving and respectful thing they are choosing to do. If they are married and doing it behind their wife's back or in a relationship without consulting their love, this is not respectful of the other one and not honest.

How about masturbation? What goes on between you and yourself is between you and yourself. Love, honesty, respect!

Okay, some of these relationships will result in children while others will not. What exactly should one do if involved in a non-traditional relationship that have children or a traditional one without?

The excuse most give as to why homosexuals should not marry is this is a holy sacrament for the purpose of creating children. There are many straight couples who are married that either cannot or choose not to create children. The churches look the other way as long as the couples are straight.

Won't the children be confused? What if the couple has sex in front of the children? What will the children's friends say? If homosexual couples marry, should they have the right to create or adopt?

These are often brought up around election time by politicians trying to confuse the issues of what they have and have not done during their terms. They play the fear card based upon prejudices and ignorance.

These very religious groups also made the same fears manifest when it came to interracial couples. As it has now become a very common thing, the critics who are reasonable see that fear was unjustified and plain silly.

What if a homosexual couple adopted a child? Would you be as cruel and disrespectful to that child to let him or her go on without the love of a stable home just because two men or two women want to raise it?

A homosexual couple is no more going to have sex in front of a child than a straight couple. Yes, they may hug and kiss in front of the kids or out in public and the people will most likely react the same way they did years ago when a black person did the same with a white person until they get over it.

Isn't it a bit hypocritical to say if the purpose of marriage is to create and raise children and say nothing to couples without children who are straight but to hassle same sex partners who want to do right by the children? Before it was even thought of to "come out of the closet", same sex couples could raise their children together as long as everyone thought they were just single parents with children helping with expenses.

Also, isn't it a bit hypocritical to claim marriage only as a holy sacrament, yet accept couples who were married by a judge in a civil ceremony or on the sea?

If two (or more) people enter a relationship with consent offering love, respect and honesty, putting all their cards on the table and laying out a structure for the future, is this really anyone else's business but their own?

When it gets right down to the long term relationship, there is a hypocrisy in many of the religious minded. On the surface they will preach of mutual love and respect of both partners, but in some groups of the extremists, the rights of the women do not exactly matter as that of the man. This shows very little respect or love to the woman who must always submit to the will of the man and give him whatever he wants when he wants it. The woman is no more than a slave and religion has convinced her this is the way God wants it and it is in her best interest to go along with it.

Unless the relationship serves the need of all involved, it is a sin that can only be resolved by those in it. If the relationship violates the laws of the land, then they must either submit to the law, accept the consequences or try to change it.

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