Queer As Folk Episode Guide - Season Five

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Season 5 Episode 1

Preview of the sketches that would be Rage, the movie and quick shot to Babylon where Michael complains how that lifestyle is all a lie. Brian is okay with it and pulls him to dance, but Michael has to leave and go home to his husband. Michael said he would be happier if Justin were back. Brian made plans to visit Justin for a surprise visit and swore Michael to secracy about the plan. In the backrooms, Justin calls Brian while he is "busy" and they continue with a conversation. Justin is excited that things are going so well, but he would have to stay longer than he thought by another 3-4 months. Justin asks when he would visit, but Brian says you never know. Justin tells Brian he misses him while Brian tells him to have the best time he can because that's all that matters leaving Justin feeling a bit empty until he sees a gorgeous hunk ready to play.

Mel, Linds, Michael, Ben and son are all watching over Jenny Rebecca [JR]. Michael warns them that his mom plans on visiting. Michael and Ben ask about how long they have been together as a happy couple and are surprised to find out they would soon have an anniversary, but don't plan to do anything. When they leave, the girls talk about when they should tell them the truth. Then Linds leaves to go to her place with Gus.

Carl and his new "bride" are coming over to Carl's place and he says she might as well move into his house with all of the stuff she keeps bringing over. He says he didn't understand why she rejected the offer after she complained there were so many sad memories. She says there were so many good memories, too and it is a part of her. She loves his place, but she wants to come home. He tells her it's up to her and wherever she is is home to him.

Carl and Deb walk in on Em and a guest in the middle of having fun on the living room sofa leaving Carl with one of the most awesome shocked faces in the world [except for on Degrassi TNG when Craig was kissed by Marco].

A party is going on in the hallway as Michael and Ben come home and chew out their son for being at the party. They talk about how Mel and Linds seemed kind of cranky and discuss doing something nice for them.

At the office, a plump Ted is stuffing his face as he wants to talk to Brian about some figures on how much Kinnetics made the last quarter. He wonders what he wants to do with the profits, but cautions against expanding his business too quickly or investing in stocks. He suggests spending it on himself, especially after the cancer and the vd. Ted continues to stuff his face with bear claws as Brian thinks about it.

Ben and Michael are at the home of a married couple, Eli and Monty. They gush about how great the neighborhood is for gay couples with children and ask if they ever thought about moving into the area. When they walk home, Ben is trying to convince Michael that where their friends live is so much better, but Michael is hesitant about the idea of moving which Ben thinks is a good idea.

Em and Ted are talking about a new place. Em told Ted about the embarassment the night before as his main reason for wanting to move. Ted is still stuffing his face and Em shows his concern about his weight gain. Brian tells Ted what Em is too afraid to hear, that he is fat. A guy checks Ted out and he thinks he must still be hot, so he goes off to talk to him. Michael sees Brian and tells him he can't stick around because he has to talk to Justin about Rage. Brian tells Michael that the trip to surprise Justin is cancelled.

In California, Justin is getting the storyboards ready as fast as he can. Justin is told they just found the new Rage, Conner. Conner told Justin how he was talked into playing the role to show that a straight guy isn't afraid to play a gay guy.

Em is with Michael and Ben in their apartment getting a meal ready in a crowded kitchen blasting with noise from the neighbors. Ben seems cranky and leaves. Em notices and tells him that Ben wants to move. Michael and Ben argue about moving while Em goes out in the hallway where there is a kick ass party going on.

Michael and Brian are walking along and he tells Brian that Ben wants to move to the suburbs. Brian is looking for a new toy to blow his profits. They also talk about the party Michael is planning for the girls. Brian thinks Justin is not coming back, but Michael says he was just delayed. Brian thinks it's just the way it goes. The time will get longer and longer for an extention and why would he want to come back when he is with movie stars and who would come back to Pittsburg after being there. Michael reminds him that Justin isn't like him, but Brian thinks its time they both got on with their lives.

It's late and Michael stops by Mel's place and surprises her with the party. They wonder where Linds went and Mel has to hurry to call to get Mel and Gus over for the surprise party. Deb is noticing Ted is getting tubby and then asks Em where he has been lately. Em says he was just trying to find a new place and she thinks he's being silly and Carl doesn't really mind. She tries to talk him into staying. Linds comes to Mel's with Gus in hand to witness the surprise party for their anniversary. Ben and Michael try to toast the happy couple and ask them to speak. Linds tries to tell them, but Mel doesn't want her to know the truth and tries to stop her, but she insists on telling the guests that they were having problems and have seperated over her having sex with a man which leaves the party stunned and they haven't been living together since JR was born.

At Babylon, Brian is having fun when someone suddenly turns on the lights and the cops are chasing people out because they are closing the club.

After the guests leave, Mel and Linds try to explain their situation to Ben and Michael that they have seperate places. Michael is enraged that no one told him and is upset by their deception. Linds apologizes and say they have been under so much stress. Michael complains that when he agreed to be the baby's father it was going to a loving home and not a "time sharing" arrangement, then storms out.

Ted and his new friend are in bed while eating a pizza and watching a movie. He tries to force feed Ted another piece of pizza. He says he is going to get so fat he would be like the guy he saw on tv who was too fat to get up. His friend tells him it's fine by him because he just loves the scent of an old guy that makes him hot, especially his big full belly then tries to get Ted to eat more. This leaves Ted a bit afraid.

Em is at the refrigerator at night and Carl walks up behind him. Carl told him he has been meaning to talk to Em. Carl tells Em that Deb is upset he is leaving. Carl tells Em that as a cop he has to work a lot late at night and would feel safer if he did stay to look after Deb. Em asks how does he feel about his sex life, but Carl says he doesn't mind.

Deb is talking to Michael bickering about the problems with Mel and Linds. Brian walks up to the counter and says he is too upset to eat after last night. Michael agrees thinking they are upset over the same thing, but he is upset that Babylon was closed by the cops because it was guilty of tax evasion. Michael is complaining that he is not more concerned about the situation and is more upset is that he knew they had problems and didn't tell him.

Justin is continuing work on the storyboards. Conner comes in dressed as Rage to show off to Justin. It is then announced that the project Rage has been cancelled because of general homophobia of the family audiences and instead decided to do The Passions of Moses.

Mel is holding JR as Linds comes in with Gus who is sick. Mel and Linds are at each others throats and Mel insists she just leaves. Linds tells Mel she just had to tell them as it was the right thing to do. Mel says it's just that somehow telling everyone makes it real.

Michael and Ben are strolling down the street with his friends and their children and walk by another couple walking their children. They point out a house for sale. Michael wants to see it for the sake of Hunter, JR, and the fact there wasn't enough space for all of them, so maybe he was right and it was time for a change.

Ted was called by Brian to meet him at Babylon. Brian has decided his toy, Babylon and Ted is shocked. Ted thinks this is not a practical investment. Brian rants on how he would rather do this than try to become a fake hetrosexual living in the suburb with the kids. He says that it where he lives and who he is.

Season 5 Episode 2

Everyone is packing up at the studio in California. Justin is upset as he looks over all his hard work knowing it was for nothing.

Ted tells Brian everything has been finalized for his takeover of Babylon.

Ben and Michael are in the home they want to buy, but Michael is concerned if they can afford it.

Both Ben/Michael and Ted/Brian are making plans for their new places going their different paths.

Em is on the phone with a client discussing plans. He hangs up and tells Ted and Michael the problem with the wedding of a drama queen and an newsman from a local tv station. They ask Ted about his date, but he was disappointed because he was into fat and old. A stud in a thong calls Ted sir and gives him a flyer to announce the opening of Babylon. Brian comes up behind them and tells him he reopened the place.

Michael is over at Mel and Linds with a present for JR. Mel is cranky because JR was up all night with colic. Michael apologizes for how he reacted and insists they need to talk about the arrangement with their child. It upsets Mel that he would even think about taking her child. Michael insists he has rights and wants her to be in his life in a stable home since he made the original agreement thinking Mel and Linds were stable, but now they are not things have changed.

Em is discussing the wedding plans with a couple and the bride to be is changing all the plans around. The groom to be wants to leave to go to work. When she walks off, he comments how he is impressed with Emmet for how he handles all those details.

Justin is speaking with the director who needs to leave to do another project in Austrailia and assures Justin he would revive Rage again one day.

Michael is complaining to Ben that Mel does not think he has rights to JR. Michael says there is no way he is giving up rights to his kid.

Ted is busy getting Babylon ready for opening night. Em came by for support to see the opening. Brian is excited that it is time for the club to reopen, but it seems strangely empty as he starts the music and the glitter effects. Everyone is at Poppers instead.

In California, Justin is at a party and runs into Conner. They discuss how it sucks how Rage was cancelled. He tells Conner that Brad was planning to bring Rage back from the dead, but Conner informs him in Hollywood nothing ever comes back from the dead and when it's over, it's over.

Brian is at the diner and Deb comments how he looks depressed. Brian mentioned only 12 people showed up at Babylon's.

Mel comes to Linds with groceries and to pick up Gus. Gus doesn't want to go, but they tell him they need to go. Linds is concerned that Mel looks too exhausted and wonders why they just can't get along. Mel looks through the mail and finds out that Michael hired a lawyer.

Michael and Ben tell Deb about the situation and how he hired a lawyer to get joint custody of JR. She thinks its good she's standing up for his rights. Then Michael says it's best to take her instead of being raised in a home of a single mother. Deb takes offense because she did it with Michael and tells them off that not everyone is fortunate enough to have two parents and they still do okay.

Ted is at his hair stylist who is complaining that Ted is lucky to gain weight so easily and no matter what he does he can't gain weight. Then he points out that Ted is going bald. An older guy tells him that there's no escaping it, he's getting old and it's time to accept his fate.

It's the wedding day and the bride is anxious. She spills wine on her dress and she is panicked as they play Here Comes The Bride. Em tells her to slip out of her top as he covers her up so he can take care of the red stain on her white blouse. Em asks for some wine and a big pot and adds her blouse into the vat of wine.

Linds is complaining to Brian about the situation while Brian is playing with Gus. Linds says just because she didn't carry her it doesn't mean she's not the mother. He asks who says she's not. She tells him Michael wants 50% custody. Brian is trying to look at it from both sides. Linds asks Brian to talk to Michael for her.

Em is finishing up and blow drying her new rose blouse and rushes them out for the ceremony as they praise him for his genius.

The place is crowded at Poppers as Em is dancing. Brian spots him and asks what he's doing there when there's a backroom at Babylon. They spot some old geezer trying to pass for young and are surprised to find it's Ted. Brian asks why he's over and asks about his disguise. Ted says that's his new look.

Justin comes home to Brian's loft and finds Brian entertaining a guest. Justin smiles as he sees him and Brian smiles when he sees who's home, but still entertaining his guest. Then asks him how was his flight.

Mel is rocking JR to sleep who is very cranky. Deb knocks on the door and takes JR to calm her down. Mel is upset that Deb is there since Michael is suing for custody. Deb says she's not there to take anyone else's side other than the babies. Deb calms JR down with a hot water bottle. She tells Mel it's shameful how all three of them are acting around the baby, but she thinks the baby belongs with its mother because she was a single mother and understands. She says whatever she can do to help, she will.

Justin tells Michael, Em, Ben and Deb about his bad tip to California and how people were so funny. Ted talks about shallow people trying to be who they are not and they all give him a dirty look. Justin tells Ben he was right and if they had their way Rage would end up straight.

Em is welcomed to Channel 5 news and is offered a job as the Queer Guy.

Michael shows up at Babylon and talks to Brian. Brian left an urgent message to see him. He asks him to leave Mel and Linds alone. Michael is upset that Brian doesn't understand why he cares about the situation. Michael insists the best thing for JR is to be in a stable home. Brian asks when did he change and become a pious, judgemental twit. Michael asks why hasn't Brian grown up. Brian gives Michael a hard time about his life decision to pretend to be straight and informs him that gays can screw up their lives just like straights in divorce.

Ted is looking at himself in the mirror and is disappointed. Em rings on his bell and tells Ted that he is the Queer Guy. Ted says he can start by showing him. Em assures Ted there's nothing wrong with him. Then he leaves to get his beauty rest because the camera can intensify the wrinkles and add 10 pounds to you. When Em leaves, Ted sets up an appointment to see a doctor.

Mel shows up at the comic book store to talk to Michael to work out the situation. Mel tries to tell him she was just being protective and there's no question that Michael is part of her life, but now she is too young and breastfeeding, but later he can share custody. Michael gets angry and says Mel thinks he's dumb to agree to have her until she is 4 or 5. Mel says even his mother agrees he is being pigheaded. Michael insists he will fight for his rights and Mel warns him he is going against the wrong person and she will fight.

Justin and Brian are enjoying each other's company. Brian admits he thought Justin would never come back and asks why did he come back. Justin says he "can't imagine." Brian looks at some of the sketches Justin made and asks what it is. He tells him it was one of his storyboards from the movie. Brian tells him it was good. Justin admits to Brian how he told everyone how shitty it was out there, but he lied because it was hot, fun and exciting now he is disappointed that it's all gone. He says the only thing Pittsburg has that wasn't in California and asks Brian if his offer still stands. Brian opens up a drawer he saved for Justin.

Last Call

• Brian finally bonds with his son just before they move.
• Mel and Linds move to Canada.
• Justin is concerned that the closer they get to the wedding date, the more Brian is becoming someone different and not the person he loves.
• Ted's new boyfriend is a psycho, jealous person who goes off on him when he talks to Em and the bartender.
• Michael is the poster boy for the human rights campaign.
• Ben and Michael ask Hunter if he would like for them to adopt him and he says yes.
• Brian and Justin decide not to get married.
• Ted is paired up to good ol' Blake who is at the same resort with some friends.
• Em runs into a guy he knew from high school and pairs up.

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